Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.
Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine water-power .
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Opportunist: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says midway "See I am not injured yet."
Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Computer Engineer: Someone who gets paid for reading these type of mails.